Finally, a little time for Part 2.
After Chaz introduced me to what he would be doing, and how it might unfold, he began the reading. There was so much information presented to me, I�m a little uncertain about the order in which things were presented, or the exact wording used. But I�ll try to get the gist of it down. Chaz is sending a tape of the reading to me, so I�ll be able to refer to it in the future. You wouldn�t think something like this would fade from memory very quickly, but I think it�s a little overwhelming, to the point that it�s hard to remember everything.
It started out with Chaz getting a strong feeling that he was supposed to do a tarot reading first. Sort of an introduction. He also felt very strongly that he was supposed to read from his Angel deck. I don�t feel the need to write out all that came out of the tarot reading, but I will say that it was spot on. He drew 3 or 4 different cards for me, and gave me a very detailed description of the impressions and images he received from each one, and a description of what each card symbolized. After the tarot reading, I couldn�t wait to hear whatever might come next.
He started out by saying that he was seeing images, cartoon images. I can�t remember exactly what the first one was, but it was a German cartoon lady chef, cooking up something. Then another cartoon image joined the first one. It was the Swedish Chef (remember him?) making donuts in hilarious fashion. We both laughed at this, and scratched our heads trying to figure out what was going on. He then said he felt someone trying to approach. He asked me if my grandmother had passed on, and I said yes. He said he was getting a grandmotherly feeling, and asked me if she was shy, because this spirit was being very timid, not seeming to feel comfortable approaching. I said I didn�t think my Grandma was shy, but then to me, she probably wouldn�t seem so. He asked me if she was known for her great cooking, trying to find some way to tie these silly cartoon characters to my Grandmother, or, if it wasn�t her, then trying to figure out who it was. I said I didn�t recall her being especially good in the kitchen, not any more than anyone else is.
It was beginning to seem like we weren�t going to figure this one out. But those cartoon images would not leave Chaz alone until we did. So we kept trying. He kept saying, they�re definitely foreign. German and Swedish. What could this mean to you? It has to mean something. Several minutes passed with us laughing about this and not knowing what to make of it. The only thing I could come up with, as I told Chaz, was that my father�s side of the family was German. And my last name at birth, my father�s last name, had been Baker.
Immediately the cartoon characters disappeared, and we both had an �Aha!� moment. German bakers! Too funny! Then the spirit waiting in the background finally approached. It was then that I knew that the grandmother waiting to make contact with me wasn�t my Grandma on my mom�s side, as I was expecting. It was my Grandma on my father�s side, a woman I barely knew and felt somewhat abandoned by. She was there. And as if I needed any further validation that it was her, out of the blue Chaz asked me, �What is the St. Louis connection?� My heart nearly stopped. I told him that�s where my real father lives.
The next 10 minutes or so were spent with my Grandma, through Chaz, telling me how much she really loves me, but in life she felt like she had to be loyal to her son, so she didn�t get close to me. A heartfelt apology, which I gladly accepted. But I already knew this, and I didn�t believe I�d been carrying any hurt around with me. Chaz went on to say that Grandma asked, �Why not?� I said, �Why not what?� Chaz said, �Why haven�t you contacted your father?� Again, I was stunned, because I hadn�t told Chaz I�d never talked to my real father before. The message from Grandma was clear. She wants me to contact him, but she knows I am afraid because it might be �opening a can of worms� to quote her. Again, spot on. And I don�t want to go into any more detail than that, but Chaz asked, �You have a stepfather?� I said yes. �And that�s Dad, right?� I said yes. I�m not sure of what he said, but something to the effect that my Grandma understands that.
Then Chaz asked some more questions (sorry I can�t remember what lead up to this part) that brought about the subject of K (P�s daughter). He explained that my Grandma was showing him a big arc with her arm. Like climbing a big hill and then going back down. He said is she 9? I said no, she�s 10. He said, what is the significance of 9? I immediately knew the answer. I said that when she was 9, she was diagnosed with a seizure disorder, but now she seems to be getting past it, and is doing much better. Chaz said my Grandma showed him that she is on the downward slope now, which is great news! And he said my Grandma has been involved somehow with all of it, perhaps helping K, or maybe me. I don�t know � that part wasn�t real clear. But she has definitely been near us through all of it. I think I started crying at that point, but maybe I already had been. The tears were off and on throughout the whole reading.
After a momentary pause in the conversation, I asked Chaz if there was anyone else he could sense. Someone other than my Grandma. Although I was extremely grateful and happy that she came through for me, I was desperately hoping to hear from my mom (I hadn�t told Chaz anything about my mother before or during the reading up to this point). He said he couldn�t guarantee anything, and he couldn�t force anyone to come through if they weren�t there. But after another moment or two, he said he sensed someone else. Then he said, this person is saying, �You have done what I only dreamed about.� And I choked up, tears filled my eyes, and I knew it was her. I said, �I think that�s my mom.� And he said yes, he thought so too.
I didn�t think this would become so long. But there�s so much. Too much to try to rush. So I�ll have to end this for now. And my mom�s message to me was so precious that I want to document it as best I can. So I�ll conclude this story later. But I just have to write this: she�s never left me. She�s still with me. No one will ever convince me otherwise.
More later.
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