I'm probably more upset than the situation really warrants, but I'm hormonal, so there.
Last night P and I talked about him driving up to his friend Aaron's house to watch the SuperBowl with him. Aaron and his wife, Sandy, are two of our closest friends. Last we knew, Sandy had to work today, and Aaron was just in a motorcycle accident and laid up a bit, so it seemed like P should go up there and spend some time with him. In fact, I was the one who suggested it.
Scott and Julie are another couple we hang out with, and the six of us often do things together. We all go camping together, have Thanksgiving together, etc. So last night P called Scott and made plans for the guys to do the SuperBowl thing at Aaron's house. I thought it was a great idea. I'm not into the SuperBowl, and was glad P would be spending time with his buds.
Well. Turns out Sandy didn't have to work after all, and Julie got invited to go too (or invited herself). So what was supposed to be a simple guy's afternoon of hanging out has suddenly become a social event -- a party, if you will -- and all this was sprung on me at 1:30 this afternoon.
As usual, I can't go. And it's not that I want to watch the game, because I couldn't give a rat's ass about football. But all of our friends are getting together, socializing, having adult interactions and conversations, catching up on each others' lives, and I am left out. Why? Because we have a 3 year old who would be absolutely miserable spending many hours at somebody's extremely un-kid friendly home, away from her books and toys and videos, and soft bed to nap in when she needs it. And so one of us has to stay home with her. By default that's me, and it should be, because P was going anyway and I would have stayed home. But now it's different because I am once again missing a social event among our friends, the people I like hanging out with.
Before anyone starts bitching to me about how selfish this sounds, and this is what it means to have kids and blah blah blah, just wait a minute. No one adores being a parent and loves their child more than me. NO ONE. This isn't about resenting my kid, or not wanting to take care of her. It's about always being the one left out. Because this has happened before, and it makes me feel bad.
P gets upset when this happens and threatens to call everyone and cancel everything. My prince. But that's no solution -- there isn't one. Sure, we can have things over here at our house -- and we do -- but our friends want to have stuff at their houses too, and not always at our house. And, truthfully, it's been a long time since we all got together, at our house or anywhere. So the fact that everybody is together this afternoon, having a good time, and for what seems like the 20th time I am not included, well, it's got me feeling sad.
On top of everything else, it wasn't supposed to BE a party. It was just supposed to be the guys hanging out together. Adding the women into the mix changes everything. It makes it an event. And throwing it together at the last minute absolutely guarantees that I can't join in.
So. Should P have stayed home with me? Well, if he had, then Scott and Julie couldn't have gone, because they're downtown city dwellers with no car, and needed P to pick them up. So he had to go, or the whole thing would have been cancelled, and then Aaron and Sandy would have been upset. Ugh.
It's so stupid. But I feel a little better having vented.
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