A thoroughly relaxing and enjoyable weekend.
For the first time, maybe ever, I did not scramble to get all the laundry done, or clean the kitchen floor, or the bathrooms. B wasn�t feeling very well � has a nasty cold � so I pretty much devoted myself to caring for her and lounging.
Saturday I wore my pajamas all day. Made coffeecake and scrambled eggs with cheese. Drank many cups of hot tea with milk and sugar. Took a hot afternoon shower. After 15 minutes, P brought B into the shower with me. She loves to shower with me. We can�t say the �S� word at our house, else she�s running straight for the bathroom, tearing her clothes off along the way. So a little treat for her, and some fun for me. I think we�ve done some of our best bonding in the shower.
And I read a book! During B�s naps, and even when she wasn�t napping, while P entertained her, I kicked back and actually got engrossed in a book. The Shipping News. Couldn�t put it down.
I can�t remember the last time I forsake everything domestic to just relax and read a book. I could get used to it. It was bliss.
Back to reality today, though. It got down to something like 20 degrees last night, so everything was iced over this morning. Took 15 minutes to warm up the car.
I noticed something when I stepped into my office this morning. It�s tidy in here. Like I�ve been filing, and cleaning, and doing general housekeeping. Which I have been. All this time, and I never bothered to do it before, so it�s especially obvious. At least to me. You know what I think I�m doing? I think I�m slowly preparing to leave this place. I�m tying up loose ends. Getting things organized in a way someone other than myself might understand and appreciate. Making myself not quite so indispensable.
I can�t say when this �leaving� will come about, if at all. I only know it�s on my mind, and it�s becoming increasingly important for me to be with B all I can. She�s growing so fast, and I�m missing a lot of it. I�m feeling the need to scale back. Maybe work part-time. Maybe quit altogether.
Poor P. The thought of doing without my salary just about scares him to death. I know that�s why I haven�t made any changes so far. He�s just not ready for it. Well, I may have to push the issue a little, because I�m definitely ready for something to change.
I like my job. I like the salary, what it affords us. The fact that we can pretty much do whatever we want, whenever we want. We can buy stuff, yeah. But it�s just stuff. I think we can do without most of it, anyway. How much Sony stuff can one family be bothered with? Don�t ask P that question! He�s a Sony addict.
Anyway, that�s just my mind rambling there. I don�t know if I�ll leave this place. It�s kind of grown on me, I�ve been here so many years. But I do dream about it. Yes, I do.
But I also dream of my 401(k). Which would suffer tragically were I to be unemployed. Planning for our retirement is something we take very seriously, and to just eliminate my contribution toward it is a very scary thing to contemplate.
Ugh, enough of this. It is such a Monday, isn�t it? Time to get on with it.
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