My Very Good Friend is having a baby in May. A baby girl. I am ultra excited for her.
So I have these Rubbermaid tubs - good sized tubs - that I've been putting B's outgrown clothes and other things into. I have 5 stuffed-full tubs so far. And baby clothes are tiny, so that should tell you how well dressed this child has been.
I chose this morning to go through everything and set aside the things I want to give to my Friend for her baby.
There's a reason I haven't been able to open these tubs and look at this stuff. Sure, I can take things out of the drawers and closets and put them IN the tubs, quickly snapping the lid down afterward. But I don't linger and look at stuff already in there, because it makes me cry.
I've had lots of opportunities to pass along B's things. I have never been able to bring myself to do it. But my Friend is dear to me, and I want to help her out as much as I can. So I took out all the tubs and began sorting through everything.
The depth of my attachment to B's baby clothes is overwhelming. I remember where I got every single thing. Where I bought it, or who gave it to me. I remember how many times she wore each thing. Some things she never wore. Some things she wore for like an hour. But still other things she wore quite a bit, and those are the things that got to me this morning.
I take immaculate care of B's clothing, so everything looks like new. No stains, fresh colors. Thank you OxyClean! And I always use Downey, so everything is soooo soft and sweet smelling. I just wanted to bury my face in her tiny onesies and fleecy jammies and breathe in her infancy all over again. The thought of parting with all these things that my darling used to wear, well, I almost couldn't do it. But I *made* myself do it. I told myself I was being silly, and it was just "stuff" and my Friend's baby will look just as adorable in it as B did, and Friend will really appreciate it and she NEEDS this stuff. I don't need it anymore.
So I packed up two tubs, crammed full of baby things. Not just clothing, but bottles, blankets, wipe warmer. And the teddy bear mobile that lulled B to sleep every night for the first year of her life. That one almost killed me. But in the tub it went.
I got through it, and I know it's the right thing to do and it's going to be okay. Now I just have to resist the urge to go through the two tubs I packed away for my Friend and pull things out I just can't part with. It's just stuff. It's just my baby's stuff. My baby girl's stuff. Oh, I think I will miss it. I know I will miss having it. Or maybe I just miss having the little baby? Bet that's it.
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