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Comings and Goings
2001-05-30, 7:20 a.m.

I've been reading this man's diary, and now I can't seem to get him or his baby son out of my mind. I will pray for good health and happiness for them both, for always.

*****************************************************

I've been thinking about death and loss these past few days. And I've been thinking about life -- new life, babies, children. The Big Circle. It seems like you go through days, weeks, months, and even years without being touched by death, or life for that matter. And then wham! Suddenly, it's all around you.

I came into work yesterday to learn that a coworker's husband died over the weekend. Suddenly, unexpectedly. I can't imagine what she's going through right now. My boss's grandfather also died this weekend, so he's attending his funeral today. My husband's parents are getting old, and their mortality is more and more on his mind these days. As is my dad's, especially with his recent health problems.

On the flip side, I've been asked to plan a baby shower for another coworker, whose baby is due July 17th. I love planning baby showers. And BEST of all, we were recently told about ANOTHER coworker who, after many years of unsuccessfully trying to conceive a baby, has just gotten the life changing phone call telling her that a young, pregnant girl has chosen her and her husband to be her baby's parents. It's overwhelmingly joyous. The baby was due to be born yesterday and so now my friend is sitting in her office on pins and needles waiting for the phone call that tells her the girl is in labor and the baby is on its way. You can imagine how nervewracking this must be for these parents-to-be! And how scary. I guess the girl has 48 hours after the baby is born to change her mind. I believe adoption is a wonderful thing. A wonderful, difficult, delicate thing. All the feelings that surface -- hope, joy, terror, anticipation, intense aching love. They're all there, just like when you're pregnant and expecting your child. But when you're pregnant, you have 9 months for these feelings to build up, and for you to get *used* to them. In this adoption process, the parents-to-be, their families, and friends, have been hit with these feelings all at once. It's a whirlwind. I've never witnessed so much unspoken, cautiously guarded excitement before in my life.

There is nothing more life affirming than birth and death. The comings and goings of people. Real people. Sadness and gladness, round and round. I suppose this is what life is about. It sneaks up on me sometimes, though. Makes me thoughtful and makes me nervous. Makes me want to run home and see my own sweet baby and hold my husband tight. Makes me thankful.


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