Not terribly original, but pretty succinct:
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Dear Cheese Master of my local grocery store,
Thank you for all the free samples you give me when I go 'a-shopping. I loved loved loved the $13 dollar per pound white cheddar cheese. And B loves the breadsticks. And the cookies.
Love,
Your most loyal customer (and neighbor)
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Dear Daughter,
Please stop turning out all the lights. I can't seeeeeeeeeeee.
Love,
Mommy
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Dear Producers of Teletubbies,
Thank you creating a show that will hold my daughter's attention for a full 25 minutes. But could you do something about the way those critters talk? I can't understand a word they say.
Love,
A Mom who needs 25 minutes to get dinner ready
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Dear P,
Yes, I took the Christmas tree to the dump all by myself. Strapped it to the top of the Jeep and everything. You're welcome.
Love,
Your most excellent wife
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Dear P again,
If you tell me you had spaghetti for lunch today I'm going to scream.
Love,
Your spaghetti-for-dinner fixin' wife
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Dear Dr. Phil,
Thank you for giving me my favorite catch-phrase. "How's that working for ya?"
Love,
Whatawoman, Junior Psychologist
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Dear Jeep,
Sorry about the Diet Dr. Pepper that got spilled all over your console today. Also sorry about that chocolate milkshake incident. Please don't hold it against me.
Love,
Your loving, if not clumsy, owner
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Dear Landfill Lady,
Thanks for reminding me to dump the tree strapped to the top of my car. Though I'm pretty sure I would have remembered on my own, seeing's how that's why I was there. But thanks anyway.
Love,
The dumper
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Dear Boss,
Your muscles ought to be pretty sore due to all of the flexing you've been doing lately. Lighten up a bit, k?
Love,
Your extremely patient employee
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Dear Jennifer Lopez,
You're an awfully pretty girl, and I appreciate your beefy sexiness as much as the next person, but please. Try not to speak.
Love,
A fan until you open your mouth
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Dear Diaryland,
Thank you for the hours of entertainment you provide, the therapy, and the way you make me forget about all the housework I need to do. **MWAH**
Love,
Whatawoman
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