The day after Thanksgiving. I'm almost hungry again.
Our Thanksgiving was nice. A little stressful for me, because I do all the cooking, but I staged it well enough that I wasn't *too* overwhelmed. Even found time for a 45 minute nap before our guests arrived.
The turkey was delicious. The stuffing was superb. I love stuffing. We had potatoes and gravy and sweet potatoes and cranberry sauce and corn and soft baked rolls. And six pies.
There were only 4 and a half of us eating dinner, and we had six pies.
I made three of them. I had to try my Martha Stewart pie crust recipe. See, a week or so earlier, I saw Martha make pie crust on TV. I wrote down what she did. I paid very close attention. I didn't want to miss a detail.
Throughout my entire life, pie crust has been my nemesis. I've tried numerous recipes, but it has never ever turned out right for me. Usually, I can't even get the stuff rolled out in one piece. Seldom has my pie crust ever made it into a pie plate. I almost always get frustrated with it and throw it in the garbage, using instead the pre-made frozen pie crust I keep in the freezer for emergency purposes. And the few times I've actually gotten the crust to stick together and into the plate, it's been awful. Won't crisp up. Or won't brown. Or won't stay together. I have been unable to master the pie crust technique.
So when Martha showed me how to do a perfect pie crust, I watched with rapt attention.
I assembled all my ingredients. I used ice water, iced butter cut into perfect evenly sized chunks, sifted flour. I copied her moves step by step. I even bought a nifty pastry knife just like hers so I could get my butter pieces into the perfect pea-size morsels. I handled the dough gingerly so as not to overwork the dough. I carefully shaped it into two "disks" for easy rolling. Wrapped them in plastic and refrigerated them for no less than 30 minutes prior to rolling. Used as little flour as possible when rolling. I could see the chunks of butter in my rolled out pie dough. Martha would have been proud. She did say this was very important.
So I put together my apple pie. Filled the crusts with sugary cinnamony apple goodness, and formed a neat scalloped border with my fingers. I left a small hole in the top for venting. I brushed the pie with heavy cream and sprinkled it with sugar. I baked it for the prescribed length of time.
When the timer went off, I took my pie out of the oven. It was the most beautiful pie I've ever seen. The crust was golden and crispy looking. The edges were browned, but not burnt. The designs I'd cut into the top held their shape, and the baked sugar glistened.
I absolutely could not wait for dinner to be over so I could eat this pie. This crust.
The time arrived. I took my knife and sliced it. The knife met with a little resistance, but I just figured I was weak with fatigue from a whole day spent laboring in the kitchen, and carried on.
The filling was delicious. Good job, Whatawoman! Good pie. Unfortunately, the crust...the crust...it was like eating beef jerky. I nearly had to use a steak knife to cut through it. It wasn't flaky. It wasn't tender. It was like shoe leather.
What went wrong? I did everything Martha did. I used her recipe. I followed her instructions to the letter. The pie certainly *looked* perfect, but that's only cosmetic. It still has to be edible.
I'd failed again.
If anyone can tell me the secret to pie crust, please please do. I'm ready to give up. I absolutely cannot imagine what I did wrong.
But there must be a secret. A secret no one has shared with me yet. Please, someone. Put me out of my misery and tell me...SHARE with me.
The secret to perfect pie crust. I need to know. How can I go through this life without ever having made an edible pie?
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