Sometimes it feels like if I didn't pay attention to household matters, every single lightbulb in the house would be burned out, we'd never have any laundry soap, there would be no toilet paper, and we'd have no shampoo. B's toothbrush would be frayed, and her shoes would always be too small.
I am what has sometimes been called "a noticer." I notice things. I know when we're almost out of something. I know what size B wears - clothing and shoes. I know what size P wears. If something needs to be fixed in the house, I know about it, and am usually the one to fix it. If the dishes are put away in the wrong place, I notice it.
And put them where they're supposed to be.
This is such a burden. It really is. But I shudder to think about what would happen if I left even a portion of this stuff up to P. Sure, it's no big deal if the drinking glasses are put on the shelf where the mugs are supposed to be. But it is a big deal if B misses a doctor's appointment, or doesn't have any spare clothes or diapers at daycare.
Somehow we've gotten into this pattern. I don't know what to call it. It's like I'm a victim of my own efficiency and resourcefulness. I've taken it upon myself to take care of all this stuff, and I guess the reason is because I've never fully trusted P enough to do it. To remember things. Maybe that's selling him short a bit, but my experience with him has warranted it, I think.
He says it's a "guy thing." What is that, exactly? Is there something inherent about being male that makes a man oblivious to certain things? Or have I simply spoiled him?
When I go shopping, like at Wal-Mart {{{shudder}}}, which is a necessary evil, I always buy things for the household, for myself, for B, and for HIM. Deodorant, shampoo, toothpaste, socks, saline, whatever he needs at the time. And I stock up on it if it's on sale. I plan ahead. I'm a planner, too.
But when P goes shopping (a rare enough occurrence), he will buy exactly ONE of whatever it is HE needs, unless I specifically ask him otherwise, and write it down on a list.
To his credit, he does a fine job grocery shopping. At least there's that.
Oh, I suppose I'm just tired tonight, and feeling frustrated. It just seems like P thinks things get done around here as if by magic. If I point out the things I've taken care of, or if he happens to see the stuff I've bought before it's put away, then he might notice it and say he appreciates it. In fact, it's not that I feel he doesn't appreciate it. I believe he does. But he really has no concept of all the stuff I take care of behind the scenes.
I'd be willing to bet it's like this in lots of households. It's probably a really common thing. That doesn't make me feel any better, though.
I've decided I'm not going to fret about the floors or bathrooms being (rather, NOT being) clean anymore. I am not the only person who lives here.
I wonder how long it will be before he takes action. Any bets?
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