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Saturday update - Saturday, Jun. 11, 2005
The woman I've been waiting for - Saturday, Jun. 04, 2005
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Trying to stay unbusy
Thursday, Sept. 23, 2004, 6:14 pm

What�s been going on with me? Not a heck of a lot. I�ve spent a lot of time resisting the urge to do something to my house. I can�t go for long stretches without fixing something up, adding some new thing, doing some kind of project. But I just don�t see the point in that right now, considering we�re seriously considering selling this house after Christmas. Why put any money into it? Whatever I did, it wouldn�t pay for itself � it would be only for my gratification. I need to save my creative energies for our potential new house, right?

But still, the urge is there. There�s a bathroom downstairs that needs some updating. There�s nothing wrong with it the way it is now, but it would be super cool with white tile and a ship�s wheel as a towel hanger (I�m thinking nautical theme). Don�t. Do. It. Must. Resist.

P has been working crazy long hours for the past month or so. Deadlines and stuff. Major stress. He had about a week free of it (a week ago) but now he�s right back into it. I don�t like it, but there�s nothing I can do about it. He�s got a high-pressure job right now. It takes a lot of manpower to design a new airplane. I know that. It doesn�t happen by magic. My consolation is that P�s current project will be done and handed off to the next group by November. Then they�re in the hot seat. They�ve all been told to cancel their Christmas vacation plans. The shop is not shutting down for Christmas this year. Thank goodness P�s not in that group. I feel sorry for those people and their families. Non-refundable airline tickets? Turn in your receipts and they�ll be reimbursed. The company is serious.

Having a small behavioral problem with B at preschool. It�s pre-K actually. Kindergarten preparedness, or so they tell me. In the afternoons they have �circle time� wherein the kids sit on the floor in a circle (duh!) and listen to stories and stuff by the teacher. The kids are expected to sit still and pay attention for 15 minutes. There is to be no talking, playing, rolling around on the floor, squirming, or general disruptiveness. B has had a hard time with this. Three times this week her teacher has taken me aside and told me that B has gotten the dreaded �check mark� that day for unruly circle time behavior. She has been talking to her neighbors, touching them, and not paying attention.

After repeated talks with B about this, to no avail apparently, I finally had to threaten to take away her dance lessons if she continues to get check marks. That seemed to do the trick. She got a high-five today. I hope she understands that this has to be ongoing. I guess we�ll find out tomorrow.

I have to admit that a part of me thinks the whole thing smells of horse piss. It�s made to seem oh so serious, and I�ve taken it to a level that definitely got B�s attention. But now I wonder if we all haven�t overreacted. I mean, she�s FOUR. That�s what four-year-olds do. It�s okay to try and teach them to do better, but to threaten to take away an activity she dearly loves just so she call fall into line with what her preschool teachers think is appropriate? I don�t know. I just don�t know. I don�t want a child who blindly follows the rules out of fear of getting in trouble. I want a child who follows the rules because she sees the benefit in doing so! Like, if she were to realize that all the time she spends NOT paying attention is time she missed hearing a really enjoyable story. Or learning something really interesting. Or interacting in a grown up way with a grown up, which she loves.

I think I need to keep telling myself that it�s okay to question B�s teachers. I know they�re trained professionals, and I am usually more than willing to defer to them. But I think I�ll start thinking about it more. If my gut is telling me something, I should listen. I don�t know what my gut is saying right now, but it�s definitely trying to speak up.


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