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How to manipulate your Child 101
Friday, Jul. 02, 2004, 1:32 pm

As wonderful as P is, he does have a flaw. He is gift-giving challenged. I can�t tell you how many music CD�s, DVD�s, powertools/shop accessories he�s given me over the years, but enough is enough! I�ve been happy with them all (well, mostly happy). But I don�t need another gift of music, or another movie, or another tool. Music and movies aren�t even my THING, for goodness sake. I like the occasional movie, sure. But if I want a movie, I am generally happy to rent it, or if I really really want it, I�ll buy it. Same with music. But these past few years, P has taken the easy way out (meaning: don�t have to think about it too hard) and has gotten me CD�s, DVD�s, and, of course, tools. The last straw was Mother�s Day when I excitedly opened my one and only present from the three of them (P, K and B) to find I was the proud owner of a new�..CD case. Yes, you heard me right. A CD case. I must be awe-inspiring as a wife and mother to have deserved such a lavish gift.

Lest you think I took this last one lying down, I didn�t. By the end of the day, P was made perfectly clear about what I do and do NOT consider an appropriate mother�s day gift (or gift for any other occasion) from here on out. I was fed up with receiving what HE�D like to receive. I was a bit rough on him, but it needed to be done.

See, I�m a girl. A powertool weilding do-it-yourselfer kind of girl, yes, but I�m a girl with a soft side too, which I�d like my husband to acknowledge. I like trinkets, and baubles, and things that smell good. I like getting my nails done, and my toes too. I like sentimental things for my house, like special picture frames, candles, etc. I like jewelry, for Pete�s sake! It�s not as if there�s absolutely nothing in the retail world he could possibly buy for me except media and tools! I'm really not that particular. I just want something that comes from the heart, that acknowledges my feminine side.

Cut to a conversation I had with B a few days ago.

Me: �B, do you know who has a birthday coming up in a few days?�

B: �Um, me?�

Me: �No, B. Mama�s birthday is coming up. Mine!�

B: �Oooooh, me and Daddy are going shopping!�

Me: �Oh, really?� (wondering how to pry without being obvious) �What are you shopping for?�

B: �Your birthday present, Mama!�

Me: �Oh, I see! Well��do you have any idea what kind of present you�re looking for?�

B: �No�.�

Me: (boldly taking the bull by the horns) �B, be sure to tell Daddy that Mama doesn�t want any more music or movies.�

B: �Okay, I guess we�ll just have to get the tools then!�

Me: �Noooooooooooooo! I mean, uh, Sweetie, Mama doesn�t need any more tools. Can you tell Daddy not to get Mama any tools?�

B: �No tools?�

Me: �Right! Mama doesn�t want movies, music, or tools.�

B: �Okay, Mama.�

Me: �Or anything that needs to be plugged in.�

B: �You�re silly, Mama.�

Sigh.

I�ve done all I can. Sunday is show time.


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