As a parent, I have had many moments of regret. Regret not for having a child, but for some of the decisions I�ve made during the almost four years I�ve had with her.
Take, for example, the decision to hinge every thing I want her to do by herself, but won�t do without my presence or assistance, on her turning four years old. Yes, I have actually done that. Won�t sleep in her own bed? Well, when she turns four that�s going to change. She�s been hearing that for weeks now, so she really has no incentive not to climb into bed with us every night. Her fourth birthday is an abstract day far in the distance that she doesn�t have to worry about right now..
Along those lines, I�ve also told her that when she turns four, I will no longer be accompanying her to the bathroom every single time she has to pee. Four-year-olds can do it by themselves, you see. So now, when she has to go and takes me by the hand and starts dragging me down the hall toward the bathroom, I can�t say, �But you�re a big girl, and you need to do this by yourself.� For if I say that, she simply says, �But I�m still three now, so come on!�
A very poor tactical decision on my part, agreed.
But a far worse decision, as innocent as it all started, was when we decided to give her a flashlight. You know, to play with. Kids love them. Despite the need to constantly replace the batteries, it�s really not a bad toy. It has provided hours of fun for her, actually.
Then one evening, the power went out for a while. We were immersed in darkness, and, of course, you-know-who had to go to the bathroom.
So, by the light of the flashlight, I escorted her into the bathroom, where she learned she could still do all of her necessary things. And she discovered that these necessary things were made absolutely fascinating when doing them by flashlight.
Fast forward a few weeks, and we are still going potty by flashlight. Not every single time, but often enough that I have contemplated �misplacing� the flashlight permanently. And it�s harmless, I know. It�s fun for her, but it�s extremely tedious for me. The first few times were fine. I enjoyed seeing her have fun with it. But now it�s just a gigantic bother. Oh, just say NO, you say! Put your foot down! Show her who�s boss!
Hey, why didn�t I think of that?
The truth is, there is not a more persistent creature on the planet than a three-almost-four-year-old child. There is crying, pleading, outright insubordination. Talking talking talking in that three-almost-four half-logic and rationalization that just wears a person down to the point you just say, �ALL RIGHT, FINE!! GET THE FLASHLIGHT!!�
My only shot at sanity is to just get rid of the flashlight. The behavior issues, well, we�ll work on those too, but my immediately problem will be solved.
I just hope the power doesn�t go out again, because we�ll all be peeing in the dark.
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